I Care.
Either it is part of human nature or it is a learned act but people know how to show you "pieces" of them. No one wants another to know the depth of their private pain and their deepest struggles. How do I know this is true, I have done it myself. I assure you, many of the people who read what I have written that thought they knew me - truly do NOT know me. Few would ever imagine that I have been a victim of domestic abuse. Some of the people that think they know me in Sough Carolina even know I just mourned the loss of my mother and my brother who resided in Delaware not too long ago. Why? It is easier to put on my lipstick and mascara and pretend I don't hurt when actually, I would love for someone to put their arms around me and tell me it is okay. Wait. There ARE people willing to do that but because I have been hurt I remember when a hug came with a crisp slap in the face. I remember a hug came with conditions I did not sign up for. Sooooo - it is easier to deflate the need fora hug and keep moving.
When you have been hurt to the very core of your being, it WILL change you. Like it or not, you change. You look the same on the outside and may go to the same places you used to but IT IS YOU - but at the same time IT ain't YOU - and deep down YOU know it. I have met some women who have a very hard exterior and are looked at as out-spoken but no one knows what happened on the inside. Someone broke her but she is still standing. NOW - she has decided that no one will hurt her again so she will likely hurt someone before they get a chance to hurt her again. I have met women who enter into sexual relationships with me with no desire to have a real commitment because they are willing to hurt every man that they meet in order to pay HIM back. There is collateral damage though because now there are men who enter into relationships and not understanding the baggage they are signing into. Hence, we have a dysfunctional society of people. We are weary of the goings on with our government. We are in and out relationships seeking something from it that it was not designed to give us. We are working job that have pressure to perform and the pay may not always equal our effort. Churches have become a playground for the conscious instead of the hospital for our soul.
When I started my own journey on Deborah's Freedom I was seeking to set my own self free. On the contrary, I have met hundreds of people who are in their own storm and believe or not - I can identify completely with them. Hold on here.... my disclaimer remains pure, I am NOT a poster child for pan or domestic violence but what I WILL say - I am an advocate for inner freedom. Pain is not far but freedom is not free. How bad do you want to be free?
When you have been hurt to the very core of your being, it WILL change you. Like it or not, you change. You look the same on the outside and may go to the same places you used to but IT IS YOU - but at the same time IT ain't YOU - and deep down YOU know it. I have met some women who have a very hard exterior and are looked at as out-spoken but no one knows what happened on the inside. Someone broke her but she is still standing. NOW - she has decided that no one will hurt her again so she will likely hurt someone before they get a chance to hurt her again. I have met women who enter into sexual relationships with me with no desire to have a real commitment because they are willing to hurt every man that they meet in order to pay HIM back. There is collateral damage though because now there are men who enter into relationships and not understanding the baggage they are signing into. Hence, we have a dysfunctional society of people. We are weary of the goings on with our government. We are in and out relationships seeking something from it that it was not designed to give us. We are working job that have pressure to perform and the pay may not always equal our effort. Churches have become a playground for the conscious instead of the hospital for our soul.
When I started my own journey on Deborah's Freedom I was seeking to set my own self free. On the contrary, I have met hundreds of people who are in their own storm and believe or not - I can identify completely with them. Hold on here.... my disclaimer remains pure, I am NOT a poster child for pan or domestic violence but what I WILL say - I am an advocate for inner freedom. Pain is not far but freedom is not free. How bad do you want to be free?
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