I AM CELEBRATING TODAY!!

I have had many moments to celebrate but this one is EPIC!  For over a year I have been quietly nursing my wounds.  Life has hit me hard, yall.  I WAS a victim of domestic abuse but no one that knew me well even knew about it.  We learn to absorb pain.  We "ge over stuff" and life will silence you to the point you don't even wanna talk about it anymore.  I was successful at leaving a toxic relationship and yet spoke to and prayed for people that were still IN dangerous situations.  Many times I "think" people knew I had to know something about what I was sharing with them - BUT I could not bear the though of revealing something so gut wrenching and painful that I myself had endured.  I cannot tell you how many people tell me "I wanna be just like you".  After I laugh inside, I thought how dreadful it is for me to "keep this kind of secret inside".  People I admire in the faith (whom I shared my turmoil with) invited me to pursue my passion.  Great Men of God have preached it more times that I would like to admit that people in domestic abuse situations need help.  People need "kin-ship".  I cannot say I am the "Poster Child" for domestic abuse - but GOOD GOD, I have been there.

I lost my brother, my dad and recently my brother passed away THEN my mom passed away just two days later.  My daughter's father passed away on my birthday (this year)!  While I don't wanna admit it - I understand having to process grief.  What have I been gravitating towards now - people wanting me to express my coping mechanism for loss.  Who knew?  Who knew my ears had a purpose?  Who knew that I had something of wealth to share?  I am used to listening to the gospel but there comes a time when you stop warming the bench at church and get off the bench" and get in the game.  Sure my heart aches for the losses - BUT GOD....

Making this page public is like a prisoner being set free from jail!  While thousands seek my dialogue every day - the people that know me best knew nothing about my secret pain - until TODAY.

Over the year or more that I have been nursing my wounds to strangers, I learned so much more.  You see, I am NOT a man hater.  Just because one person did me wrong, I am not an advocate for hating me.  I am an advocate for making better CHOICES.

Further, I have learned SO MUCH about how much people have been hurt in church by people they have 'looked up to".  We are a nation that needs God, we are people that need God but the church has taken a back seat to some of the social problems.  Please understand, this statement is BROAD and NOT EVERY CHURCH is failing our community.  The church USED to be the benchmark of the community.  It was more than a social gathering with a Hammond organ and a choir.  It was relationship.  What the heck happened?  

I talk to countless people online - via my private email.  Men have told me that they have put their blazers on their lap because they are sexually stimulated by the woman walking around the church like it is a strip club.  Grant it - church is designed to welcome ALL - but there comes a time for "seasoned" church WOMEN (and men) to grow up and recognize the true meaning of why they attend church.  

So for today, help me celebrate my public notice of "Deborah's Freedom".  As I WIN - YOU WIN.

"Deborah's Freedom" is YOUR Freedom too!!