IF ONLY YOU KNEW.....

We are in a society FULL of filters, masks and imagination. Authenticity and common sense are not as common as usual.  To find people who are "real" is a rare thing anymore.  Seems we have become but a shadow of our former selves.  I would call it a serious culture shift and perhaps a very dangerous culture shift.  With the onset of technology we have the gratification of communicating with people and choosing to sent our "real"photo or a "photo-shop" of who or what we wish we were.  The exchange of anatomy makes you question if your "new date" has the factory installed plumbing!!  I met a strikingly handsome gentleman in a mall - so attractive I approached him to compliment him - and through lots of laughter and appreciation - he told me that he was a "SHE".  We engaged in conversation and my elementary understanding of "HIS" plight led to my "stupid" questions.  "HIS" facial hair was pristine and his swagger was sweet - but he was having menstrual cramps every month!  To each his own - and I wished "HIM" or "HER" the best and offered gratitude for my line of patience in my line of questioning.  We closed our dialogue with me in awe.  This person made a decision that made "HER" happy and I had to honor it.  I did not ask "why" such a stark personality shift because when the day is over - happiness is priceless.  Religious banter aside - this person has to stand before the King of Kings without me.  It is definitely NOT my position to judge a decision made by anyone.

It all comes back to authenticity.  I "still" wonder what was the catalyst for making such a life changing decision but we all make decisions that others may not always understand.  I can tell you - unequivocally - PAN WILL CHANGE YOU!  Certainly the person outlined above may NOT have experienced any trauma but my life events have changed me - FOREVER.   

I filter my thoughts to represent a higher level now.  I was present at my own murder - but I did not die!  Once you have a "life-changing" experience, you "look" at things differently.  It is almost impossible not to.  As a survivor of domestic violence (although I am certainly NOT a POSTER CHILD).... I can tell you how "real" PTSD is - I can tell you how real it is to "see your life pass before your eyes".  I can tell you how grateful I am to be ALIVE!  To this end, my level of compassion is at a different level - 'cause I understand the plight.  Been there - done that - got the T-Shirt kind of thing. 

I am transparent about certain areas of my life in order to expose the enemy and to let those who have walked in my shoes fully understand the similarities I exhibit in my life - that may lie in theirs.  Domestic abuse has not fully been defined in the legal system - once the "punishment fits the crime" - I would suspect the incidents would decrease.  To see a story of domestic abuse nestled between weather and sports as though there is not a hurting family on the other side of the mention of the tragedy makes me speechless.  We have become a numb society, I suppose.  Although grateful for people contributing money to the cause for the sake of the conscious or for their "end of year tax credit" is noble - but if you go into the trenches of domestic violence - one would herald every survivor and lend a "different level" of help to those having a "silent scream" every night and "God Bless" those who had to get peace by way of the grave.  I salute you.

Point is - everyone has a past.  People you look at and maybe even admire has that "something" they do not even talk about anymore.  Letting the words pass through the lips of someone who has experienced trauma is as painful as living the event all over again.  I understand that.  I also understand that it is your "pan that creates your purpose".  I would have NEVER imagined that I would compile words and people would actually red them - and the reader would be blessed as a result of them.  With tear-soaked tissues I read notes from people who "appreciate" my transparency.  Oh, but there is so much more to my journey.... some I will reveal over time and some will remain resident between me and God. 

I am "still" processing life.  I "still" suffer from life BUT my posture in the challenge is so different now.  My first question is "What is God teaching me".  Is life easy - well heck NO - but there is a God.  I assure you - if NOTHING else has come out of my wrestle with life - I learned about intimacy with God.  Do I wish life was different? - of course I do.  I can quickly offer to you a "laundry list" of things I wish were different - but I have got to walk out God's purpose - which is greater than the sphere or lens I look through. 

The issue of imagination comes into play as well.  It is easy to imagine that the life of someone else is so much better than our own.  We look at their social media posts and they seem to have a nicer home and car BUT even these imaginations can be incorrect.  Back to the premise of this dialogue - sometimes looks can be deceiving AND people only let you see what they want you to see.  It grieves me to read of people who have committed suicide.  I mean, on the outside they appear to have everything.  Why take your life is my first question.  The query of mystery is silenced when I realize that we "never know" what their "tipping"point was. Oh how I wish I could have been able to "say the right thing' to them before they made such a decision but alas, that was not in God's plan. 

With so many avenues for medicating the mind, the "wrong" information can seem credible at a critical time.  Discipline from the vast array of choices is a matter of choice.  When you can pornography at your fingertips at any time of the day - when you have a problem with it makes the strongest constitution a victim of their own desires.  It is all about BOUNDARIES (for me). 

If I were to tell some of the "things" I have endured, I believe that the people that know me best would be SHOCKED.   If you did know, I betcha you would be PROUD OF ME.  Likewise is the case for anyone reading this prose - people would be PROUD OF YOU if they knew what you have overcome.  Sometimes you gotta "pat yourself on the back".  Sometimes you gotta give your own self a "high five" - a "standing ovation" - maybe even a "BRAVO"!  Only you and God know the details of your journey!  When you re-adjust your rear view mirror before you get out the car - remind "THAT PERSON" how absolutely amazing they are.  You, yeah you - you have overcome some pretty difficult adversities and you have taken a "licking - and  you keep on ticking"!  Don't let the moment of giving YOURSELF credit escape you. 

Now remember, these words are just MY OPINION and as I have said so many times before - I do NOT KNOW EVERYTHING - nor do I pretend to.  My dialogue is simply MY OBSERVATION ONLY - not based on any scientific data. 

You are free to disagree.  Start with yourself.  Enlist that "common sense factor" before you allow a "Reality" TV show to dictate how you should look or raise your children.  A few scripted moments with several possible "re-takes" could ruin your life.  You know what works for you, don't you?  You know your children and your family structure better than most.  Turn on that inner intuition and most of all talk to God. He is listening. 

The world is waiting for people like you and me to be an example of authenticity.  Let's make it a revolution.  Trends come and go - let's make being "real" - being "authentic" and being "honorable" so contagious others will want to do it!

We have one life to live so enjoy it.

There is also a guaranteed eternity, so let's prepare for it.