I AM DEBORAH!
So often, people approach em and say "I wanna be just like you" so I thought it would be a good time to "re-introduce myself". I started "Deborah's Freedom" during a time of absolute CHAOS in my life. I was nursing the wounds of my journey just to discover that EVERYONE has problems! People carry the weight of their problems differently though. Did you know that you can look at any group of people at any specific location and time and SOMEONE is close to or suffering SEVERE depression. I mean the kind of depression that would make them not want to life anymore. Yes, that includes the people on your pew at church, too!! The human mind can absorb so much and we have learned how to not let life show on our face. It is easy to go golfing with our buddies and NO ONE KNOWS that you have a large knot in your throat and you are fighting back the tears of a life that does not reflect your reality. It increasingly easier to hide at church too! You can dance all over the purse of the person next to you and cry the rest of the way home. Was the golf event a bad event - NO. Was the church service poor - NO. The brokenness inside came to call and you LEARNED to hide the effects so you suffer - in silence. Some people I can "pick out in a crowd" because - I USED TO DO IT!!
I may have recounted this illustration before but I vividly recall taking my young child to an amusement park. I watched her play with utmost glee and looked around at the "functional families" that had money to splurge on the event and so wished I had that luxury. Oh, how I wished I had a "husband" or at least a decent man with me to enjoy this experience with me. I stood there wondering what would happen if "I" just fell to the ground and got in a fetal position and cried. How fast would the paramedics take to get to me and rescue me - I was physically okay but I wanted to die! Not totally because I was "SINGLE" but my life was totally off track and I did not know how to get myself together. I proclaimed that I was "saved, sanctified,, Holy Ghost filled and that with a mighty burning fire" - but INSIDE, I was self destructing. Did the pastor preach well on Sunday? Well yes, I have my own notes to rove it - did the choir sing my favorite song? Well, yes again - in fact I sang on the choir! So what is the problem you ask I was going through the motions of victory but I did not have it on the INSIDE!!!
Let me continue on this thought for just a minute. I recently posted that we are (seemingly) more concerned about the temperature in the church, the correctness of the sound and the style of music at the church more than we are about the work that has begun at the altar. Hearing a message at church is just like being in a classroom - the REAL work is putting into action that which you have received. If you go to church to "feel good" - you may be going for the wrong reasons. Long after the sound men (and women) go home and the cameras are disengaged until they are needed again - there is a God. The pastor has how won life to lead and against everything you may imagine - at the end of the day your pastor is human. Has it crossed your mind that maybe - just maybe you should pray for your pastors before you criticize them? Gathering together for corporate worship and a sermon for a credible pastor is critical for spiritual maturity but "just going to church" just isn't enough. There comes a part of maturity on your part, too.
Okay. I digress.
Once I realized that EVERYONE had a problem or two - I realized that my rehearsing my problems was not an effective way to reach people. I tell of my failures and victories as a benchmark for YOUR understanding that I "know what I am talking about" - but people need to feel inspired. I am NOT the poster child for single mothers. There are people who have suffered fates much worse than mine BUT for such a time as this - God has given me this platform to expose myself to you as an AUTHENTIC WOMAN. I have SUFFERED - rather severely by life - but I took the licking and kept on ticking.
This girl is AUTHENTIC. I don't play games and the best way to lose my attention is to think that I cannot discern "fake". I am a firm believer that as you get older, you have a "radar". You get to where to can listen to people and after a short while - you "hear "foolishness". You learn to "cut through" MESS. Oh, no - you don't dislike folk - you just learn who you distance yourself from. There is a place in your heart that you will LEARN not to violate.
I get "things" wrong. I get people wrong sometimes BUT I filter EVERYTHING through God now. I spent many years believing I could love people beyond their dysfunction but truth is - you cannot do that. If my loving YOU is KILLING ME - you just gotta go. Self preservation is the first law of nature.
Deborah has not yet "arrived" - I am NOT perfect. This is what I will tell you though, I am serious about my relationship with The Most High!!
People that know me well know that I love shoes. Thing is - only the faint of heart would want to "walk in my shoes". The steps of life that make up "Deborah" will shock and amaze you! Particulars of my life has been very transparent on these pages - but this journey has not been an easy one. God knows how much we can bear - be careful when you say who you wanna be like - 'cause you have no idea what it took for them to become who they are!!
Deborah is still evolving. Truth is, I am still healing. Healing is an excruciating process but it is a necessary one.
Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to visit "Deborah's Freedom". With hundred and thousands and tens of thousands of BLOGS, posts, web pages and social media offerings - you choose to visit this one. I am honored.
I take this opportunity to communicate with you very seriously. I have learned to "STA Y IN MY LANE".
I am often asked -"ARE YOU SINGLE". As a matter of fact I AM SINGLE! Here is the thing. I am not "picky" and I am not conceited. I am confident who I am. I have not always been confident though - and it caused me to SETTLE for less than I was worth. There is great revelation in understanding that the "EGG NEVER SWIMS TO THE SPERM" - I don't chase men. I am waiting for my Boaz to find me. Why am I waiting? ... because I am worth it!! Nothing is worse than a man that feels "intimidated" by being with a confident woman!!!! Women want a man to ask them on a date - make the plans - and KNOW that she will represent herself as a LADY. Deborah is NOT in the business of stroking an ego! Deborah DOES believe in inspiring the man in her life. Deborah does believe in making home a peaceful place. Deborah does believe in upholding the masculinity of the male specimen! If all a man has is dialogue about his "21 positions" - he can keep walking with his bag of tricks!! There is SO MUCH more to a relationship beyond whether or not you can make a woman's "toes curl" in bed!! If you see me and you are not "ready" - keep walking and don't interrupt my stride - I really don't have time to waste. Don't stand in the way of the "right" person. Just because you are "available" does not mean you are "available". On the other hand, I believe that women can have a man as a "friend". Not a "friend with benefits" - but a real friend. Knowing the difference will make the journey so much easier. I am just mature enough to wait. If God has caused me to be single - well, I must be mature enough to accept that too!!
I am Deborah. I am grateful for the journey that led me to where I am now - I am looking forward to the future. I don't know what the future holds - but DO KNOW that The Most High is already there!
The BEST is YET to come!
Stay tuned!!
I may have recounted this illustration before but I vividly recall taking my young child to an amusement park. I watched her play with utmost glee and looked around at the "functional families" that had money to splurge on the event and so wished I had that luxury. Oh, how I wished I had a "husband" or at least a decent man with me to enjoy this experience with me. I stood there wondering what would happen if "I" just fell to the ground and got in a fetal position and cried. How fast would the paramedics take to get to me and rescue me - I was physically okay but I wanted to die! Not totally because I was "SINGLE" but my life was totally off track and I did not know how to get myself together. I proclaimed that I was "saved, sanctified,, Holy Ghost filled and that with a mighty burning fire" - but INSIDE, I was self destructing. Did the pastor preach well on Sunday? Well yes, I have my own notes to rove it - did the choir sing my favorite song? Well, yes again - in fact I sang on the choir! So what is the problem you ask I was going through the motions of victory but I did not have it on the INSIDE!!!
Let me continue on this thought for just a minute. I recently posted that we are (seemingly) more concerned about the temperature in the church, the correctness of the sound and the style of music at the church more than we are about the work that has begun at the altar. Hearing a message at church is just like being in a classroom - the REAL work is putting into action that which you have received. If you go to church to "feel good" - you may be going for the wrong reasons. Long after the sound men (and women) go home and the cameras are disengaged until they are needed again - there is a God. The pastor has how won life to lead and against everything you may imagine - at the end of the day your pastor is human. Has it crossed your mind that maybe - just maybe you should pray for your pastors before you criticize them? Gathering together for corporate worship and a sermon for a credible pastor is critical for spiritual maturity but "just going to church" just isn't enough. There comes a part of maturity on your part, too.
Okay. I digress.
Once I realized that EVERYONE had a problem or two - I realized that my rehearsing my problems was not an effective way to reach people. I tell of my failures and victories as a benchmark for YOUR understanding that I "know what I am talking about" - but people need to feel inspired. I am NOT the poster child for single mothers. There are people who have suffered fates much worse than mine BUT for such a time as this - God has given me this platform to expose myself to you as an AUTHENTIC WOMAN. I have SUFFERED - rather severely by life - but I took the licking and kept on ticking.
This girl is AUTHENTIC. I don't play games and the best way to lose my attention is to think that I cannot discern "fake". I am a firm believer that as you get older, you have a "radar". You get to where to can listen to people and after a short while - you "hear "foolishness". You learn to "cut through" MESS. Oh, no - you don't dislike folk - you just learn who you distance yourself from. There is a place in your heart that you will LEARN not to violate.
I get "things" wrong. I get people wrong sometimes BUT I filter EVERYTHING through God now. I spent many years believing I could love people beyond their dysfunction but truth is - you cannot do that. If my loving YOU is KILLING ME - you just gotta go. Self preservation is the first law of nature.
Deborah has not yet "arrived" - I am NOT perfect. This is what I will tell you though, I am serious about my relationship with The Most High!!
People that know me well know that I love shoes. Thing is - only the faint of heart would want to "walk in my shoes". The steps of life that make up "Deborah" will shock and amaze you! Particulars of my life has been very transparent on these pages - but this journey has not been an easy one. God knows how much we can bear - be careful when you say who you wanna be like - 'cause you have no idea what it took for them to become who they are!!
Deborah is still evolving. Truth is, I am still healing. Healing is an excruciating process but it is a necessary one.
Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to visit "Deborah's Freedom". With hundred and thousands and tens of thousands of BLOGS, posts, web pages and social media offerings - you choose to visit this one. I am honored.
I take this opportunity to communicate with you very seriously. I have learned to "STA Y IN MY LANE".
I am often asked -"ARE YOU SINGLE". As a matter of fact I AM SINGLE! Here is the thing. I am not "picky" and I am not conceited. I am confident who I am. I have not always been confident though - and it caused me to SETTLE for less than I was worth. There is great revelation in understanding that the "EGG NEVER SWIMS TO THE SPERM" - I don't chase men. I am waiting for my Boaz to find me. Why am I waiting? ... because I am worth it!! Nothing is worse than a man that feels "intimidated" by being with a confident woman!!!! Women want a man to ask them on a date - make the plans - and KNOW that she will represent herself as a LADY. Deborah is NOT in the business of stroking an ego! Deborah DOES believe in inspiring the man in her life. Deborah does believe in making home a peaceful place. Deborah does believe in upholding the masculinity of the male specimen! If all a man has is dialogue about his "21 positions" - he can keep walking with his bag of tricks!! There is SO MUCH more to a relationship beyond whether or not you can make a woman's "toes curl" in bed!! If you see me and you are not "ready" - keep walking and don't interrupt my stride - I really don't have time to waste. Don't stand in the way of the "right" person. Just because you are "available" does not mean you are "available". On the other hand, I believe that women can have a man as a "friend". Not a "friend with benefits" - but a real friend. Knowing the difference will make the journey so much easier. I am just mature enough to wait. If God has caused me to be single - well, I must be mature enough to accept that too!!
I am Deborah. I am grateful for the journey that led me to where I am now - I am looking forward to the future. I don't know what the future holds - but DO KNOW that The Most High is already there!
The BEST is YET to come!
Stay tuned!!
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