Who is Growing With Me?

October 31, 2018

Who is Growing With Me?

On FaceBook, Instagram and Twitter, I posted these words today:

"If I asked you to name all of the things that you love, how long would it take for you to name yourself?"

Loving yourself is not a measure of conceit or arrogance. God made YOU in HIS image. You are a masterpiece. You are priceless!! Thee day you start to love yourself you will be unstoppable!! Look at your skin - God made that! Look at those beautiful eyes - the very window of your soul - yep, He made that too! Everything from the nail on your pinkie toe to the hair on your head (which he has numbered) - God did it! Why not love who were beautifully crafted to be. Too often people succumb to wanting to be "somebody" else. The physical characteristics "look" better than their own. Some seek to look like "them" - talk like "them" want the same circle of friends like "them" - rather than to embrace who they are. It is an old adage - but it bears repeating - "God don't make no junk".

The majority of the posts I make public are part of who I am now - who I once was or something I have personally experienced. Like I said, I stay true to my lane of knowledge. Social media has made a multiplicity of posts, information and news directly at our fingertips but I am cautions to only post what I can relate to. After all, we all have different experiences with different degrees of emotions attached to them. My life has not been perfect (I'll be first to admit it)... but I have met some incredible people along my journey of life. Some people played more defining roles in my life than others but they were still part of my destination to being the best ME I could ever be. I "think" I have spent a lot of time dreaming about my destination and not celebrating my journey. The unpleasant events TAUGHT me lessons I would not have known otherwise. The pleasantries (and there have been many) have taught me to appreciate even the small things in life and to NEVER take people that intersect with my life for granted. God caused my path to cross with "certain" people for a particular part in my growth process. It was not until I became an adult that I fully understood Psalms 119:71 .... "It was good for me that I was afflicted". Did I enjoy the savory taste of decadent chocolate in my palate.... HECK, NO. Did I rejoice in my pain (I learned to). Did I wave a flag of surrender (YES... many times).... I wanted the pain to end!! When I look back over my life - what I went through (entered the realm of opposition - and got victory as a result of it) - it made me stronger.

A few critical things I learned for ME - was setting boundaries. A TAKER will not set boundaries for you - and will continue the cycle of being a taker until you set boundaries - not necessarily for them - but for YOU. Because I was a GIVER, and I thought I could help everyone - I gave too much of myself away and felt depleted mentally, physically, physically and YES - even financially. For ME - the word "NO" is a full sentence (now) - to further explanation is needed.

I no longer feel like everyone's issues are MINE to fix. After you are around people for a while, they will TELL you who they "really" are. Some folks authentically do NOT want to change - they just want you to agree with their dysfunction. They want you to hear about their problems (some of which they have created for themselves) and at the end of the day - they are not looking for help. They are crying like they are starving - with a loaf of bread in their hand. Now there you are, suffering - wishing they would stop calling or leaning on you - BUT you have NOT gotten tired of listening to their "little violins" playing and they know they can contact you for their serenade. You are dealing with a fire that has no desire to be quenched. You are dealing with throwing your pearls at swine (Matthew 7:6 (NIV) even says .....""Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.

So to the question have I yet arrived, well the answer is an enthusiastic "NO". Phillipians 3:13 (NIV) is my constant reminder: "Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead..I press....

Have you ever had people to hate you. I mean unequivocally hate you BECAUSE of what someone else said about you? It's like walking into a room and a "HUSH" happens - and you are not paranoid but you know the atmosphere shifted because YOU are there? Been there, haven't you? The hard kick to the stomach is you know you have done nothing wrong. I vividly recall an incident where I was seeking to help a single mom get on her feet. I was there to listen to her plight. I was there to keep her secrets safe inside of me. I helped her fix her credit and even helped her look for a home. Over time, we laughed a lot and we cried a lot but she KNEW I was there for her and had her back. Fast forward.... she betrayed me and told people we mutually knew that I had sad things about them - far from ANYTHING we had previously discussed. I copied emails she and I had shared and gave them to the persons she was lying to. To this day, the people she "reported me to " at the CHURCH never apologized (nor do I expect them to) neither have I ever saw her again after that incident - but what a lesson I learned. (Side note to this example - do not JUDGE everyone by the mistakes of one). Out of devastation, I left this particular church for a while (visited others) until I could get a sense of balance. God reminded me that I was not going to church for the people. People go to church for different reasons - not all are seeking a close relationship with the Father. God reminded me that I am not to go to church for a relationship with the PEOPLE - I go to church to deepen my relationship with HIM.

Guess what? I don't even argue anymore. So many times, I nod my head and "fall back". The truth has an undeniable way of rising to the top. If something is true - in the proper arena - say it - and then say no m ore. My dad used to say (RIP) - "it takes two people to argue - don't be number two"..... I refuse to "make" anyone accept my truth is - because - sometimes my truth may be wrong. I am still learning ..... that's why I choose my words carefully. If I have to eat my words - I want them to be sweet.

And finally, (for today)....

I don't make excuses for what God does for me. When people compliment me - I "Thank" them. Confident women - will compliment women!! Once you know yourself, it does not hurt anything in your constitution to compliment someone else. How often does someone tell you - (for instance) - " I like your dress" ... and your educated response is "Oh, this old thing...." - or "This is so old". Nahhhhhh - gracefully accept the compliment. Return the compliment with an of gratitude.

As you can see, I love to write. I don't "talk" a lot - but I love to write. It is easy for me to get into "information overload". Writing (and reading) is something you settle yourself down to do. We are in such a fast paced society and there is so much going on - you almost have to schedule time to be STILL. The day you "pencil in" time to be STILL, you have begun to win the inner war. You will not be conflicted with where to spend your energy 'cause you have taken time to give YOURSELF undisturbed time to think. Get in tune with who you are. Delete, block and avoid toxic people and toxic relationships. The wrong people will "wear you down" - once you fall apart - they will find another victim.

Self preservation - is the first law of nature.

I peep.

I recognize.