In My Own Words...
Far be it from me to ignore the fact that October is Domestic Abuse Awareness Month. To this end, I cannot be silent. You see, I can easily extended a lot of verbiage on this subject because "I AM A SURVIVOR".
There are statistics near and far which outline in graphic detail the horrific incidents of domestic violence. Educated minds have gathered in rooms to discuss the damage it causes to men and women all over the world. Domestic abuse shelters are open in so many places (around the world) and there are warrior volunteers and employees offering to lend a hand to the abused. It is not uncommon to hear "Breaking News" as yet another plight is played out and the victims are once again mourned and families are left to pick up the pieces. The occurrences are so prevalent - I am not certain people are alarmed when the story gets nestled somewhere between politics, a school shooting, the weather and sports. To me, while domestic violence DOES have a dedicated month for which we observe the fact that domestic violence occurs BUT there "seems" to be no URGENCY about the fact that women (and men) are dying at the hands of someone they once loved.
I NEVER imagined I would fall prey to the disease of domestic violence. I am in charge of my mental faculties. I am intelligent. I am articulate. I am a beautiful woman. I know how to cook. I am loyal to my relationship. I love God and yet - I looked at life through "rose colored glasses" and I missed (or chose to miss) the "RED FLAGS". Do I have regrets Of course I do. Can I change the past - well - NO. As a survivor, I have learned to lift others up - my mistake is their victory.
I no longer rehearse the specifics of my malady holding a box of Kleenex. I no longer cry because of "what happened". MY PAST PAIN HAS TO SERVE FOR A MUCH HIGHER PURPOSE. I know warriors on the battlefield for domestic abuse - and I so humbly applaud them. It is a dark underworld that will leave one breathtakingly speechless. I have worked for an emergency domestic abuse hotline and I could "feel" the emotion over the phone. I have worked in shelters and hugged the neck of women (and men) who were but a whisper away from dying. To watch women that are grateful for toiletries and feminine hygiene products to men who have been stripped of their masculinity weep will impact your whole sense of being. It is painful beyond words. It is especially painful for me - knowing that but by the grace of God - it could have been me.
It is hard not to cry typing to you even now. Writing to you means I have to visit a part of me I prefer not to visit - but it was part of my journey in life. I once was a patient - now I am a physician. I was a patient in need - now I am an emotional physician - ready to give emotional CPR to a broken heart. Just like I am 5 feet 3 inches - and that is an undeniable fact - my journey is admitting I was "there". Yes, I know the atmosphere of believing I would die. Yep, I know what it feels like to be choked. Uh huh, I know the name calling and the narcissistic patterns which resulted in my own decreased self-value. Oh, yeah, I learned that PTSD is common among survivors of domestic violence, too. In all of this, I learned that there was a God!!
The focus of my journey and the birth of "Deborah's Freedom" is helping women and men FIND their self-worth and re-fuel their soul. Whether they are presently in a domestic abuse situation, were in a domestic abuse situation in the past - but most of all - I hope to provide "daily maintenance' to avoid having to endure the struggle. I don't judge anyone. Domestic abuse has NO socio-economic parameters. From the projects to the penthouse - from the pulpit to the parking lot (YES, domestic abuse is prevalent IN THE CHURCH)....NO ONE IS EXEMPT. Let's admit it - it happens! Domestic abuse occurs MUCH MORE THAN IT IS REPORTED.
I pray that the domestic abuse initiative turns from a monument to a movement. I hope a serious revolution occurs to stop the violence and cause the "punishment to fit the crime". It will take time to "define" the parameters of what constitutes domestic violence - but if meetings are held WITHOUT the grieving patent who lost a loved one or a survivor who has been in the trenches and lived the sentence to earn the right to be called a SURVIVOR - the meeting will be null and void.
As we observe October for Domestic Abuse Awareness - don't just throw a few dollars at the cause to ease your conscious. Money is good and money is absolutely needed. Take a look inside your soul and imagine your son or daughter lying in a fetal position awaiting certain death at the hands of the person who once had dinner at your table. Imagine visiting the grave of someone you love because you were unable to see the signs (and sometimes there are NO visible signs). Let's raise the roof on domestic violence - praying no one else feels the fate OR that help arrives in time OR the victim' story will be one of survival.
Survival has a name too. Systems are desperately needed for "Okay, I got out - now what?" Some women are / were in situations where control was their abuse. Finding a job, help with the cost of day-care and help renewing the mind of the survivor are only SOME of the "after the abuse" needs.
God Bless the domestic abuse shelters, the agencies, the lawyers, the presiding judges, the police officers, the domestic abuse counselors, the family court system, legal aid, guardian ad litem, support groups, the emergency rooms - God Bless every woman who got a restraining order and order of protection (who later found it was "just a piece of paper"). If we could get ALL of these systems *and others not previously mentioned* available to each and every person in danger due to domestic violence, I would best guarantee we could make a significant "dent" in decreasing the incidences that sometimes lead to death.
God Bless every woman (and man) who can wear the brave badge of survival. What the enemy meant for evil - God meant for your good! I would pray that each survivor reach out and help someone that feels trapped. Help a domestic abuse victim have the courage to speak out. It is a matter of life - and death. Find a bible believing church (and there are many), establish a RELATIONSHIP with your Father in Heaven. He made you - and He sees what you are going through - what better place to go and make your petition know but to your knees - to God.
I forever commit myself to daily motivation on "Deborah's Freedom" - and beyond. You will be unstoppable once you know how valuable you are. I am on a mission - from God.
It is a myth to believe that domestic abuse is an act AT THE POINT OF IMPACT. Ask any survivor, the memories linger. Time DOES NOT heal all wounds. Time will teach you how to forgive (even if you do not forget). In order to have a better tomorrow for yourself , your children, your family and closest friends - learn how to LET IT HURT, LET YOUR HEART BLEED, LET YOUR HEART HEAL - THEN LET IT GO!! The weight of "hating" the person is not worth being angry each and every day. That is where God comes in. If you don't feel you can reach God - God will reach you. You don't need fancy words to talk to God - He is waiting to hear from you. Just talk to Him.
Your children need you. Your family needs you. YOU NEED YOU!!
KNOW YOUR WORTH - THEN ADD TAX!
There are statistics near and far which outline in graphic detail the horrific incidents of domestic violence. Educated minds have gathered in rooms to discuss the damage it causes to men and women all over the world. Domestic abuse shelters are open in so many places (around the world) and there are warrior volunteers and employees offering to lend a hand to the abused. It is not uncommon to hear "Breaking News" as yet another plight is played out and the victims are once again mourned and families are left to pick up the pieces. The occurrences are so prevalent - I am not certain people are alarmed when the story gets nestled somewhere between politics, a school shooting, the weather and sports. To me, while domestic violence DOES have a dedicated month for which we observe the fact that domestic violence occurs BUT there "seems" to be no URGENCY about the fact that women (and men) are dying at the hands of someone they once loved.
I NEVER imagined I would fall prey to the disease of domestic violence. I am in charge of my mental faculties. I am intelligent. I am articulate. I am a beautiful woman. I know how to cook. I am loyal to my relationship. I love God and yet - I looked at life through "rose colored glasses" and I missed (or chose to miss) the "RED FLAGS". Do I have regrets Of course I do. Can I change the past - well - NO. As a survivor, I have learned to lift others up - my mistake is their victory.
I no longer rehearse the specifics of my malady holding a box of Kleenex. I no longer cry because of "what happened". MY PAST PAIN HAS TO SERVE FOR A MUCH HIGHER PURPOSE. I know warriors on the battlefield for domestic abuse - and I so humbly applaud them. It is a dark underworld that will leave one breathtakingly speechless. I have worked for an emergency domestic abuse hotline and I could "feel" the emotion over the phone. I have worked in shelters and hugged the neck of women (and men) who were but a whisper away from dying. To watch women that are grateful for toiletries and feminine hygiene products to men who have been stripped of their masculinity weep will impact your whole sense of being. It is painful beyond words. It is especially painful for me - knowing that but by the grace of God - it could have been me.
It is hard not to cry typing to you even now. Writing to you means I have to visit a part of me I prefer not to visit - but it was part of my journey in life. I once was a patient - now I am a physician. I was a patient in need - now I am an emotional physician - ready to give emotional CPR to a broken heart. Just like I am 5 feet 3 inches - and that is an undeniable fact - my journey is admitting I was "there". Yes, I know the atmosphere of believing I would die. Yep, I know what it feels like to be choked. Uh huh, I know the name calling and the narcissistic patterns which resulted in my own decreased self-value. Oh, yeah, I learned that PTSD is common among survivors of domestic violence, too. In all of this, I learned that there was a God!!
The focus of my journey and the birth of "Deborah's Freedom" is helping women and men FIND their self-worth and re-fuel their soul. Whether they are presently in a domestic abuse situation, were in a domestic abuse situation in the past - but most of all - I hope to provide "daily maintenance' to avoid having to endure the struggle. I don't judge anyone. Domestic abuse has NO socio-economic parameters. From the projects to the penthouse - from the pulpit to the parking lot (YES, domestic abuse is prevalent IN THE CHURCH)....NO ONE IS EXEMPT. Let's admit it - it happens! Domestic abuse occurs MUCH MORE THAN IT IS REPORTED.
I pray that the domestic abuse initiative turns from a monument to a movement. I hope a serious revolution occurs to stop the violence and cause the "punishment to fit the crime". It will take time to "define" the parameters of what constitutes domestic violence - but if meetings are held WITHOUT the grieving patent who lost a loved one or a survivor who has been in the trenches and lived the sentence to earn the right to be called a SURVIVOR - the meeting will be null and void.
As we observe October for Domestic Abuse Awareness - don't just throw a few dollars at the cause to ease your conscious. Money is good and money is absolutely needed. Take a look inside your soul and imagine your son or daughter lying in a fetal position awaiting certain death at the hands of the person who once had dinner at your table. Imagine visiting the grave of someone you love because you were unable to see the signs (and sometimes there are NO visible signs). Let's raise the roof on domestic violence - praying no one else feels the fate OR that help arrives in time OR the victim' story will be one of survival.
Survival has a name too. Systems are desperately needed for "Okay, I got out - now what?" Some women are / were in situations where control was their abuse. Finding a job, help with the cost of day-care and help renewing the mind of the survivor are only SOME of the "after the abuse" needs.
God Bless the domestic abuse shelters, the agencies, the lawyers, the presiding judges, the police officers, the domestic abuse counselors, the family court system, legal aid, guardian ad litem, support groups, the emergency rooms - God Bless every woman who got a restraining order and order of protection (who later found it was "just a piece of paper"). If we could get ALL of these systems *and others not previously mentioned* available to each and every person in danger due to domestic violence, I would best guarantee we could make a significant "dent" in decreasing the incidences that sometimes lead to death.
God Bless every woman (and man) who can wear the brave badge of survival. What the enemy meant for evil - God meant for your good! I would pray that each survivor reach out and help someone that feels trapped. Help a domestic abuse victim have the courage to speak out. It is a matter of life - and death. Find a bible believing church (and there are many), establish a RELATIONSHIP with your Father in Heaven. He made you - and He sees what you are going through - what better place to go and make your petition know but to your knees - to God.
I forever commit myself to daily motivation on "Deborah's Freedom" - and beyond. You will be unstoppable once you know how valuable you are. I am on a mission - from God.
It is a myth to believe that domestic abuse is an act AT THE POINT OF IMPACT. Ask any survivor, the memories linger. Time DOES NOT heal all wounds. Time will teach you how to forgive (even if you do not forget). In order to have a better tomorrow for yourself , your children, your family and closest friends - learn how to LET IT HURT, LET YOUR HEART BLEED, LET YOUR HEART HEAL - THEN LET IT GO!! The weight of "hating" the person is not worth being angry each and every day. That is where God comes in. If you don't feel you can reach God - God will reach you. You don't need fancy words to talk to God - He is waiting to hear from you. Just talk to Him.
Your children need you. Your family needs you. YOU NEED YOU!!
KNOW YOUR WORTH - THEN ADD TAX!
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