Lets' Get Started

With every hurricane there is damage.  The extent of the damage is most felt by the ones who felt it.  The damage can be somethings as minimal as losing electricity to the total loss of everything once held near and dear to one’s heart.  Nonetheless, the common denominator is survival. 

Did you suffer a hurricane or natural disaster of your own?  Survival is not easy.  Every recount of survival from a calamity is different but a life is suddenly more important than things.  We lose things that we love and cherish – but we have but one life to live. 

Now that you are here to read these words, you are a survivor.  To what degree you have made it to the platform of survival may be different from me – but we “made it”.  Deborah’s Freedom will unfold and from it pieces of my own hurricane will be revealed but what is most important is that I survived.  There are so many emotions…  (for instance) that silent pain the parched lips cannot explain, PTSD (which is real to every victim of domestic abuse / domestic violence), emotional death and the scars some can see and some you cannot see, confusion, material loss and confusion but I assure you – I not only learned how to survive, I learned how to thrive.   I am one of many soldiers who have fought in this war of survival and are able to talk about it.  You are not alone if you are still IN IT – likewise I am not alone in this discussion of survival.  We are her to help each other.

I learned that I needed to not keep this journey of survival to myself because there are multitudes of men and women who have suffered the horrific pain of domestic abuse / domestic violence – moved on with their secret and chose to never look back.  Can I suggest that we who have survived reach out and help someone who does not know how to help get out of the pain they are in – or perhaps they got out and ask that question…. What now?  Think about how much you just wanted to know that there is life beyond where you were.  Do you still remember waking up and knowing you are out?  Do you still remember the day you came out of your own wilderness?  I do.  I cannot rest until I help even one person because I KNOW what it feels like to feel trapped.

I am choosing to look back and reach back because I want to help someone that needs me.  Someone I may not even know – someone I may never meet – someone that has that silent scream, unable to come to grips with the person they see in the mirror, someone who is outwardly functional and painting on a smile everyday yet empty inside– but the bitter truth is the pain of their reality or of their past is eating them up on the inside and NO ONE even knows it.  Because of the fractured system in place, the abuse shelters are limited in the wealth of scope they can provide as if no one is “connecting the dots” with the law enforcement agencies, the legal system, safe houses, etc.  It is not uncommon for a woman or man to follow all of the mandates assigned to them to get help and STILL become a fatality.  Domestic abuse / Domestic violence has become so common that the stores are nestled between the sports and weather and it happens so much no one is seemingly “surprised” when it is news.  The grief stricken family members and children are left with so many questions and so few answers.  To say there were NO RED FLAGS may not always be accurate– although there are case studies where there was nothing noteworthy to anticipate the tragic event.  If you look deeper in the eyes and the silence of the victim, there is a story to tell.  Just listen.  Listen not just with your ears.  Paying attention to subtle changes.  Pay attention to the heart.  There are vibrations everywhere and we can feel them. They are put there for a reason.  Negative and positive vibrations don’t lie. 

The epic problem is that sometimes women and men follow the “rules” for obtaining help and yet still become a victim.  Why is that?  For me, I reckon that this issue is not completely “out of the closet”.  Yeah, we have fund raisers and people contribute as a part of a small attempt to throw attention at a problem but there should be more done. 

Try talking to a SURVIVOR.  They can tell you what it feels like not to have enough food to eat.  They can show you scars so deep that some are invisible to the eye.  Time DOES heal wounds but time will also change you.

Today, I begin my journey of pulling the cover off of my own past challenge of being a former victim in order to help YOU.  I refuse to believe I went through what I did and it not mean something to the Kingdom of God.  Deborah’s Freedom came at a cost.  Freedom is not free – but freedom is available to her.  You must ask yourself…. How bad do you want it?