My Wish To You.....

'Tis the season to be jolly - FA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA!

While many sing songs of JOY and "feel" the festive scents of the atmosphere - there are many that are not so JOYFUL!  Yeah,  don't get it twisted, MONEY can buy a lot of things - but it cannot always buy HAPPINESS.  Through the "magic" of social media I have earned confidences with people who have  much more money that I could imagine - and yet they are unhappy.  INSIDE of myself - I wanna ask them to throw a few dollars and coins my direction so that I could SEE if having money - or NOT - really makes a difference :-)   - but seriously - I just seek to "feel" the compassion in their voices..... you see - I would much rather hear of their depression than to listen to their eulogy!

As previously stated an an earlier post:

  • When you live long enough - you will learn that CHARACTER, COMMON SENSE, LOYALTY, HONESTY and FOCUS - lasts a lot longer than a dollar bill! While "SIZE DOES MATTER" - I'll take a man long on DEVOTION than the 6-1/4-inches of a dead president!  HELLO SOMEBODY!!
It is VERY important to keep your eyes FOCUSED in the right direction - PARTICULARLY during the holiday season - it is EASY to "THINK" that someone else is doing "better than you are".  I mean, social media allows people to "pretend" very well.  Not everyone is doing as well as they "POST" to be!  A few clicks on the camera and a post can confuse the best of us.  Truth is, EVERYONE is fighting a battle of some kind or another - we just SHOW it differently. I tend to "internalize" - not many people even know when I am hurting - IT IS A LEARNED TRAIT TO "HOLD STUFF ON THE INSIDE".   Through counselling, I have "learned" how to reverse this trait - but it is also my natural reaction - or manufacturer's setting" when I need it.  For me, I have to recognize the things that "TRIGGER" my responses and just say "NO" when I feel the need to ISOLATE myself comes along.  You know YOU better than anyone else.  Being honest with YOURSELF is critically important.   I mean, what are you "saying to yourself" when no one is around?  You can have a house FULL of laughter and folly during the holidays BUT what do you say to YOURSELF when you shake hands and hug the last invited guest from your home?  

This year I offer well wishes to the regular readers of "Deborah's Freedom".  To those that are new to this forum, WELCOME!!  Those that have followed this page for some time know that I have had my own struggles.  I have overcome so very much - and I am "still" a work in progress BUT I am in love with who I am becoming!!  "Things" are so nice - (... I like "things" too!) BUT the weight of my PEACE lies less in things but in PEACE OF MIND!

To this end, I am wishing everyone who is blessed to view these words, my love.  Be patient with yourself.  If the holidays make you remember someone who has gone on to be with the Lord in Paradise - it is OKAY!  Just be careful that you do not "pitch a tent" and "stay there".  God "LOANED" these people to us.  Can you dare to extract the memories they may have brought to you and escape feeling a need to raise a wine glass to "drink to that" too many times.

Perhaps you are single like me and you wanna "hurl" when you se couples holding hands and making holiday purchases and all you have is the echo of your door when you close it behind you are "STILL" single.  I understand that too!  The challenge is to not "wish" for what you may not understand.  Not "everyone" smiling in public is happy at home.  Hats off to those who are as happy in public as you are in your private lives - because there are many that are blessed with harmony at home.  I'd caution single people though.  Don't try to "MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN" to avoid being single throughout the holiday and REGRET it later.  I mean, to have a baby come September 2020 is not fun if it is someone else's husband!  You don't "kinda' get a sexually transmitted disease and it takes more than a Tylenol and antibiotics to cure some of the "itches you wanted scratched"!

Maybe you did not get the gift you wanted.  Maybe you got no gift at all - which is usually the case forme.  You know what?  I found out the real gift dis not come wrapped in pretty paper.  There is something to be said for health.  We can so easily take breathing for granted.  Your ability to "tune in" and read these words is a gift if you propose the same idea to someone that does NOT have a computer - or how about to someone that cannot SEE!  Life is all about PERSPECTIVE!  What lens - or whose lens are you looking at life through?

Lastly, for this prose ... know that you are LOVED.  Yeah, Yeah, Yeah everyone wants a HUG .... sometimes I do BUT at my worst of times - I learned about that intimacy with The Father.  This intimacy is not a twisted scenario of fleshly intimacy.  I learned that The Father loved me.  He tells me "secrets" in the midnight hour.  He is truly iwth me, waling and talking with me.  I am NEVER alone.  The intense sense of feeling "LONELY" comes when I take my eyes off of the PRIZE!  When everyone else left me - when everyone else may misunderstand me - I can go to my secret closet and be reassured that HE is with me  He is with you too!

As stated in a prior post - in this atmosphere of "CELEBRATIONS" - please exercise responsibility:

  • "The "fun" you have in December could be the baby you deliver in September 2020! The Christmas Party that got "out of control" could be the "screen-shot" that prevents you from your next promotion. That one-night-stand that "looked good" while you were intoxicated may very well be someone else's husband/wife! That "itch" you been feeling may need antibiotics! That "Secret Santa" may have given you "coals"! That kiss you got under the mistletoe may give you warts! What was that "punch" spiked with anyway? What? You saw your Momma kissing Santa Claus? What is done in the dark ALWAYS comes to the light!! Don't let YOUR "Silent Night" be your "Un-holy Night"! Don't forget that your rent/mortgage is STILL due on the 1st of the month. Your child that entered the winter break with a failing status in school- does NOT deserve to be rewarded with a pair of Jordans on Christmas morning!! If that pretty little lady (your daughter) has cussed at you and disrespected you - ALL YEAR - "Little Missy" has not EARNED keys to a little red CORVETTE!! There is NO SUCH THING as a "little bit drunk", "a little bit pregnant", "kinda got AIDS" or a little "texting while driving". Consequences. Consequences. Consequences!
  • CELEBRATE RESPONSIBLY....... wake up with NO no regrets. The life you save may very well just be YOUR OWN!!"

I urge you to take this holiday season in stride.  You are doing the best you can.  You may not get what you "want" but I assure you that God will give you what you NEED.

Referencing those "bad situations" you invite in your life.  Some are harder than others to escape.  You may not lose YOURSELF - but please, oh, please don't WASTE YOUR TIME" either.

As previously posted:

  • It was kinda difficult trying to avoid "saying" something on this subject. My experience in the fatality of "losing time" was enormously painful. Something within me - perhaps my nurturing and depth of compassion THOUGHT that I could love my EX beyond his shortcomings. Maybe even, the Christ in me would affect him. Yep, I "THOUGH" I could "fix" him. While I did not lose a LOT of time - I learned "THE HARD WAY" the absolute truth in realizing that you CANNOT FIX ANYONE!! The dysfunctional state of being I found myself in was HORRIBLE and I - quite frankly, did not know how to get out. The relationship took the journey to domestic violence - and once fear set in - I was not only a victim of my circumstance but I was also losing MYSELF.
  • There comes a point when you look in the mirror and start to analyze what it is that YOU want in life - if YOU don't set boundaries - if YOU don't set some ABSOLUTE lines in the emotional sand - if YOU don't learn how to say "NO" (... without further explanation)... someone else will do it for you. Just like animals are reported to have a sensory sense of smell - YOU emit an aura that attracts leeches. Leeches will latch on you and suck your blood out of you.TIME IS SUCH A VALUABLE SENSE OF EXISTENCE. You may (... or may not) get another Friday in your life - but you won't get THIS ONE EVER AGAIN! Don't waste it. I plead of you - please don't waste it. I know what the taste of REGRET tastes like. It is nasty. It will choke you. That foul taste will remain with you for a long time...
  • assure you - it is just as easy to cross your legs and lean back in your recliner chair in a BAD SITUATION as it is in a GOOD SITUATION. It is all in what YOU allow. Once you "get comfortable" in dysfunction, you find it difficult to distinguish "NORMAL" from "ABNORMAL". The foolishness you have accepted will seem real. (...TO YOU). Don't buy into settling for less than you are worth. Diamonds don't go on the "clearance rack" and are not generally for sale at the "Dollar General". YOU, my dear, are a DIAMOND! You are precious - but rare!!
  • If you don't believe me - you better ask SOMEBODY!!
  • For the record, God helped me to look through a "different lens". End of story, I got my much needed freedom - I NOW call it "Deborah's Freedom".
I fully intend to visit his BLOG again BEFORE the end of 2019 as we bid "ADO" to a challenging year and look forward to the clarity that 2020 will bring.  2019 was full of enormous challenges that have prepared me for 2020.   Dear 2010:  I AM NOW READY!!  Bring it on!!

From my house to yours - Happy Holidays!!

I send to you my love.


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