"TO BE" or "NOT TO BE"

If you looked at the post to decide where I am going with my thoughts today - you may need to get a cup of walnuts and start to "cracking".  I just may take a few "twists and turns" BUT we will end up at the same destination!!

Let me lay a foundation for my prose today.  I am not now nor am I ever an authority on ANYTHING.  I still make mistakes.  I am still "called on the carpet" for being wrong.  I "DO" handle constructive criticism well but for all intents and purposes, this is MY BLOG - MY OPINION.  Because this a space for my opinion - my opinion may not be right but "Deborah's Freedom" is fashioned for YOU to consider a new PERSPECTIVE.  With the influx of information technology and news being reported at the moment it happens - there are LOTS of opinions swirling - but EVENTUALLY - the truth prepails and makes its way to the top.  I write about my own life experiences for the most part - that way I do not jeopardize the confidentiality of those who trusted their SECRETS with me.

So, here we go!!

Pastor Ron Carpenter (Redemption Church, CA) was the first to help me to understand "FIRST TRUTHS".  Without a direct quote form the message - and certainly not desiring to misinterpret what was delivered in the message - what "I" got from it was .... we are taught many things - that would have been INCORRECT - but it became our "FIRST TRUTH".  In the structure of the home, we are "taught" a rhythm of existing that may change as we get older.  For instance, maybe you came from a home where there was spaghetti every Thursday night for dinner.  That is your "FIRST TRUTH" isn't it?  You get to where you EXPECT spaghetti on Thursday.  As an adult and you begin your own family, SOMEHOW you gravitate to spaghetti on Thursday, right?  This became your "FIRST TRUTH".  Let's say, HATE for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  Maybe your ancestors had a "fun in" with someone from another culture and developed a HATE for everyone that looks like that person that did them wrong.  When you are "fed" toxic information - over time - you believe it.  After all, the person serving the meal of HATE is someone you look up to, right?  These segments of "FIRST TRUTH" do not even have to be WRONG ... but it is "THEIR REALITY - NOT YOURS".  Thus bringing us to "What are you willing to "UN-LEARN" in order to "LEARN".  This is not to say that you are not being TAUGHT CORRECTLY neither are you being taught INCORRECTLY - but everything that glitters is not gold.

Mothers who teach their daughters how to cook have "tried and true" methodologies  for cooking that have been "passed on through the generations".  It can be from the way you prep a turkey for Thanksgiving to how you make homemade frosting for the cake.  These recipes are PRICELESS but I have not committed a great SIN because I chose to spread the peanut butter BEFORE I spread the jelly for Pete's Sake!!  I am a mother and I take great pride in "teaching" my daughter how to cook.  She is a graduate of Culinary Arts and to tell the truth - SHE IS TEACHING ME A THING OR TWO!  I am not a least bit intimidated by the fact that she has a degree - I have wisdom and knowledge on my side.  I stand on the shoulders of my ancestors and can measure with a "pinch of this" and a "pinch of that" - I am OLD SCHOOL.  :-)  Bottom line - I am willing to UN-LEARN in order to LEARN.  it is a BALANCE.

There are so many "SELF-HELP" books on the market.  Each person has lived through a segment of life or has perfected a process to share it with YOU!  My suggestion to YOU is to just CHOOSE WISELY!   We are all on a quest to better ourselves but when the day is over - we must find out what WORKS within the inner core of our own existence.  I am a HUGE ADVOCATE for making myself better.  Of course, because of my confession of faith - I consult GOD - FIRST.  On a constant quest to ask God to direct my steps.  I am just a sheep - God is my shepherd - because of HIM - I shall not WANT!!  There will not be another crucifixion or cross experience - nor should there be one - but - I know it happened.  I have the Holy Spirit within me to guide me - thing is - I have got to listen.  It is our "FREE WILL" that gets us in trouble sometimes.

Which brings me to the most difficult part of this missive today.  CHURCH.

I have been "IN CHURCH" ... ALL OF MY LIFE.  Before you applaud me let me tell you I am NOT proud of it.  Sure, having been "IN CHURCH" all of my life has afforded me a formidable foundation from which to draw upon BUT it has also been the benchmark for much confusion and frustration.  I have no CLUE what it feels like to get drunk, smoke, wake up with someone else's husband and while they say "white men cannot jump" (lack of rhythm... I guess) - I don't know what it feels like to dance (except for a "Holy Dance" before the Lord).  These are the BIG SINS according to the CHURCH and it would put you on a ROCKET TO HELL.  Church has preached so much about the BIG SINS that gossip, back-biting, cheating, infidelity and "silent" sins" are not thrown on the altar like they used to.  FIRST TRUTHS to me was to be "set aside" for God's service - and truth is - this is STILL my portal for existing.  The bible itself has been mete with it's share of controversy and debate.  Have you noticed how many VERSIONS of the bible there are?  Great Theologians with more degrees behind their name than a thermometer get a revelation and BOOM - new version of the bible is published.  Don't get me wrong, I am grate for THEIR insight but God will give you revelation about HIS Word and how it relates to YOUR life if you just ASK.  Against popular opinion - there is no such thing as a "watered-down" religion.  The Word of God does not change - our personal interpretation or "FIRST TRUTH" can sometimes get in the way.  This is how WRONG becomes RIGHT - and RIGHT becomes WRONG.... and the debate continues!!

Church is somewhat like a smorgasbord.  People tend to "church hop" until they find the buffet that best suits their taste - and if they cannot find a buffet that serves their sin - they will start their own.

What "FIRST TRUTHS" do you adhere to?  Who has your EAR?  Somewhere in your lifetime there was someone who deposited FIRST TRUTH into your sphere of existing - and you BELIEVED THEM.  So I beg to ask you again, "What are you willing to "UN-LEARN"?

Our ultimate destination is the same - HEAVEN.  There are seemingly many different vehicles and directions to get there.  Meditation is crucial when seeking what is simply TRUTH versus "FIRST TRUTH".  It is our innocence that makes us absorb our "FIRST TRUTH" it is our maturity and intellect that requires us to decipher between the TRUTH and the "FIRST TRUTH".  You do not have to HATE the person that deposited the "FIRST TRUTH" in you.  For "THEM" - it was an undeniable truth - but it was "THEIRS" - not necessarily YOURS!

Some of these "FIRST TRUTHS" are disguised as superstitions.  Superstitions can EASILY cross over into the demonic realm but I am not qualified to argue this point.  In short - you just cannot serve TWO masters.  You will love one and hate the other.  The enemy seeks to steal, kill and destroy.  Please, oh, please do NOT under-estimate your opponent!!  Greater is HE that is within you - but is HE "really" within you?  The enemy does not play fair.  Do not go into war with the enemy and not have on your full armor ... even then - the enemy will seek to find a weak place in your suit of armor and get in.  Walking with God is a DAILY walk.  Don't go at life alone - you will lose.

 If a snake sheds his skin - he is still a snake, right?  If you shed a false "FIRST TRUTH" you are still a functional contributor to society.  You have harmed no one by asking God for guidance or seeking what is TRUE for YOU.  Go ahead and run in the house with scissors in your hand.  Be careful but do it.  The earth is still on its axis!!  Cross the legs of your Thanks giving turkey - right leg over left - instead of left leg over right - it will still come out of the oven at the right time and state like a turkey!  It is the simple "FIRST TRUTHS" that can old us hostage.  Thank "them" for watching out for you and teaching you THEIR "FIRST TRUTH".  Break the tradition and "UN-LEARN" a few things and see how happy you will become.  There are some things we do - by second nature - because someone TOLD us to "do it "THAT" WAY".  Again, there is nothing wrong with what "THEY" said because "THEY" are actually correct about some of their levels of CAUTION.  DO NOT LET YOUR TAKE-AWAY FORM THIS BLOG THAT YOU SHOULD "NOT" LISTEN TO YOUR ELDERS!!  As you mature = you will start to see what works and what does not!!

Here is one example of my own life to ponder.  Many of you know I moved 12 hours away from an emotionally and physically abusive relationship.  I began to venture into my "new life" and  a Caucasian lady approached me and sternly said "Look at you - you (Black) women keep on spitting out babies making my tax money pay for the care of your kid".  Of course, I had the option of being UGLY but dignity stepped in.  I chose to ignore her.  Well...... wouldn't you know it - she shows up again and "snubbed me".  Immediately, I knew I could have taken my "FIRST TRUTH" into hand and said that she was racially motivated in her opinion of me and I had every right (I thought) to act out of character).  I tossed my hair behind my ear and smiled brightly to her.  She did not know me - she had a preconceived idea - perhaps her own "FIRST TRUTH".  Of course, I saw her again and again.  I asked God to give me the "right moment" to talk to her.  BOOM.  I got it!  Her son pulled my daughter's har on the playground.  While we were walking our children to our separate cars - I laughingly said to the woman - "My daughter said your son pulled her hair".  Without waiting a second her son said "Mommy you told us that N****RS" were stupid and that "they" were no good".  The son was reciting his own "FIRST TRUTH".  By the time I was through with her - she was repenting TO ME - because her "FIRST TRUTH" she was taught the African-American culture.  She had NEVER MET an African-American woman of class before!  She never met an African-American woman "DIFFERENT" from her pre-conceived notions she was taught.  I educated her.  Over time, I helped her to "UN-LEARN" her "FIRST TRUTH".  She was amazed that I could not "CLOWN" on her for ignorance.  She was amazed to talk to someone that could really "conjugate a verb"!!  Over the years - when our paths would cross, she learned to hold me in high esteem.  We learned how to have deep conversations bout myths and "FIRST TRUTHS".  She was SHOCKED to know I was NOT on public assistance - even more shocked that she had an opinion about me that was so far from truth.  Fast forward - when my daughter's father passed away - she was in awe that I did not accept the canned ham she wanted to give me.  Not all single-moms are looking for a handout!  I appreciated her empathy but it was another one of her "FIRST TRUTHS".  Her offering was done with good intent but if we are tearing down one "FIRST TRUTH" - let's tear down as many as we can.  She and I became friends.  I learn form her and she has learned from me.  She has moved away - we lost touch - but I'd like to believe that she will approach people form other nationalities with a different sense of dignity.  Everybody has a story - everybody has a chapter in their book of life they do not even want to read!!!!

Take a minute to think of the areas where you may struggle.  Are you taking a "FIRST TRUTH" as your ONLY TRUTH?  Seeking to "UN-LEARN" something that has become part of basic code of your life is not easy but it is also not impossible.

Kiss some "GENERATIONAL CURSES" - Good-bye!!  You may need to give a hug to one of a "FIRST TRUTH" for the last time!!  If ANYTHING costs you your PEACE OF MIND - it is TOO EXPENSIVE.  Whatever you will NOT let go of is holding YOU hostage.  Get out of your prison - the cell door has been opened - all you gotta do is WALK OUT!!

Adopt a "teach-able" spirit.  We can LEARN something new everyday - but we must first be willing to "UN-LEARN" too!!!

"TO BE" - OR - "NOT TO BE" ..... that "IS" the question.