CHANCE OF A LIFETIME
For those who have followed "Deborah's Freedom" for any length of time - you know that my focus is towards women. The "magic" of the world wide web has has expanded my reach to include men. If statistics prove accurate, there is a 47% viewer scope of men! Many men write to me "offline" because women can be "brutal" seeing men on a predominately "woman based forum". Truth is - men are seeking to "understand" the language of women. Against popular opinion - theer "ARE" good men (and women) out there - chances are they just have not met yet. Both sexes have been hurt - so it is a delicate balancing act of "opening up ones heart" for fear of being "hurt again". If I understand the dialogue correctly, men hurt "differently" from women and in keeping with their desire to keep the "masculine" face intact - they do not "show" their pain. Women can get a half-gallon of ice cream and gegin the healing process (in some cases). It is said that "time" heals all wounds. I say "GOG WASH"!! Time teaches you how to process the pain - but the pain NEVER "really" goes away. Just when you "believe" you are healed in one area - a "trigger" a "memory" a "song" can take you emotionally to the "place of your pain". So what are you saying Deborah? Healing IS a process, it takes time AND you cannot make EVERYONE pay for what SOMEONE else did to you.
The focus of "Deborah's Freedom" has been directly aligned with understanding your WORTH! It is comical at times when it is stated "KNOW YOUR WORTH - THEN ADD TAX".... but that sums it up. "STICKER PRICE" is not negotiable when it comes to my STANDARDS. There are just some things I just don't accept in my emotional zone anymore. You wanna clown - you can find employment when the circus comes to town!! Foolishness, lies and deceit - I am not the one. When I was a child I spoke as a child - but when I became a WOMAN - I put away "childish" things - "childish" conversations and "childish" thinking. As Maya Angelou once said, "When people show you who they "REALLY" are - believe them - THE FIRST TIME"!! It is not uncommon to NEVER get a second chance to make a first lasting impression.
Let's be clear here. There is a distinct difference between ARROGANCE and ACCEPTANCE. There is an even bigger difference between ASSERTIVENESS and AGGRESSIVENESS! There is a "way" to approach quality ... I'd even call it ROYALTY. Many of us watch the Royal Family in their pomp and circumstance. You do not see cleavage hanging out, thighs showing and too-tight skinny-jeans when approaching the Queen! Respect starts from within. It is not given to you and you don't have someone pray it on you. Once you realize what you are worth - things change - starting with YOU! You cannot expect anyone else to respect YOU if you are not diligent at respecting YOURSELF. Do you pay attention to how you speak? Do you mentally filter your conversations or do you just BLURT out what you want - when you want and EXPECT people to honor your presence? Lots of time - people don't say a word, they will just "distance" themselves from YOU! No need to BLAME people for what YOU have caused. Stap back from the plate of life and see what YOU are serving!
Being "ONE IN A MILLION" is a feat in itself. It is a level of recognition tht is to be applauded. BRAVO!!!!! You are doing your work - hats of to you! Being "ONE IN A MILLION" is not an easy feat until you realize that you are well capable of being a "ONCE IN A LIFETIME" kind of woman (or man)!
As a woman - you should look at yourself as a PRIZE for the lucky man that is permitted to enter your comfort zone. Over time, you will carry yourself with an aura, an essence a Spirit of excellence. We authentically attract who we are. If you are constantly attracting the "WRONG" kind of mate - check out the aura YOU exude. What are you s"settling for"? Yeah, we have all kissed a frog or two before we make contact with that PRINCE - but don't marry the FROG thinking you can kiss him long enough and he will TURN into a PRINCE!!!
So.. you may ask - "Deborah, if this is true - why are YOU single"" I'd gladly tell you why. I am a "ONCE IN A LIFETIME KINDA WOMAN". I have lived long enough to understand that two hearts will polarize towards each other at the proper time. Have I made mistakes - well HECK YEAH. It is from these mistakes and "miss-steps" in life that I can write to you with authority. I am a firm believer that God is not only getting HIM ready - but God is getting ME ready. I have been through enough to KNOW what works for me - and to walk away from anything or anyone less than that. Am I better than anyone else - HECK NO.. I just know that I have done the work I needed on ME - so it will take someone pretty special to meet the level I worked to get on. I have matured to the point that I will not compromise my values. If his only calling card is his "21-positions" - I am not interested. If his former conquests are the ONLY topic of his conversation - I grow bored - quickly. If his material acquisitions are ALL he has to offer - the novelty of "shine and glitter" grows old - so he will be on a constant quest to "out do" the last "shine and glitter" item. Stuff is nice - but it gets "old and stale" when your soul is not fed. (... this is just my opinion only). EVERYONE has a characteristic database of what they are looking for - I have just decided to wait. After all, HE has got to find me - I am not the "HUNTER"!!
If you are content with being "ONE IN A MILLION" - that is fine - because you are NOT at the bottom of the food chain, either. Once you realize that there is a status for you to reach of being "ONCE IN A LIFETIME" kinda woman (or man) - the core circle of what "turns you on" changes.
What God has for me - is still for me. Question is - are we disciplined to wait for it? "Instant Gratification" offers you a season of happiness. Nothing worse than taking that taste of bile - called "REGRET".
Knowing YOURSELF is important. More important than you can imagine. Do the work - do the painful work - find out what makes you authentic. What makes you a Queen (or King). Find out what makes your "heart leap". Find out what your goals and dreams are - ask yourself - "will this person join the journey and we pursue together" or will lie fe a "tug-of-war" with them. Most relationships are "FUN" at the beginning - are you giving yourself the TIME to know who you will one day share space with. Check out their family tree, too. The "nuts don't fall far from the tree". Finally, do you want a wedding or a marriage?
I do not know all of the answers for everyone - this one thing I do know - it takes more time to HEAL from a broken relationship than it does to WAIT for God's very best. CHILL - take your hand off the wheel - enjoy life - Let go - and Let God.
Go ahead, be that "ONCE IN A LIFETIME KINDA WOMAN" - be that "CHANCE OF A LIFETIME"!!
Do not settle - because you are lonely.
The focus of "Deborah's Freedom" has been directly aligned with understanding your WORTH! It is comical at times when it is stated "KNOW YOUR WORTH - THEN ADD TAX".... but that sums it up. "STICKER PRICE" is not negotiable when it comes to my STANDARDS. There are just some things I just don't accept in my emotional zone anymore. You wanna clown - you can find employment when the circus comes to town!! Foolishness, lies and deceit - I am not the one. When I was a child I spoke as a child - but when I became a WOMAN - I put away "childish" things - "childish" conversations and "childish" thinking. As Maya Angelou once said, "When people show you who they "REALLY" are - believe them - THE FIRST TIME"!! It is not uncommon to NEVER get a second chance to make a first lasting impression.
Let's be clear here. There is a distinct difference between ARROGANCE and ACCEPTANCE. There is an even bigger difference between ASSERTIVENESS and AGGRESSIVENESS! There is a "way" to approach quality ... I'd even call it ROYALTY. Many of us watch the Royal Family in their pomp and circumstance. You do not see cleavage hanging out, thighs showing and too-tight skinny-jeans when approaching the Queen! Respect starts from within. It is not given to you and you don't have someone pray it on you. Once you realize what you are worth - things change - starting with YOU! You cannot expect anyone else to respect YOU if you are not diligent at respecting YOURSELF. Do you pay attention to how you speak? Do you mentally filter your conversations or do you just BLURT out what you want - when you want and EXPECT people to honor your presence? Lots of time - people don't say a word, they will just "distance" themselves from YOU! No need to BLAME people for what YOU have caused. Stap back from the plate of life and see what YOU are serving!
Being "ONE IN A MILLION" is a feat in itself. It is a level of recognition tht is to be applauded. BRAVO!!!!! You are doing your work - hats of to you! Being "ONE IN A MILLION" is not an easy feat until you realize that you are well capable of being a "ONCE IN A LIFETIME" kind of woman (or man)!
As a woman - you should look at yourself as a PRIZE for the lucky man that is permitted to enter your comfort zone. Over time, you will carry yourself with an aura, an essence a Spirit of excellence. We authentically attract who we are. If you are constantly attracting the "WRONG" kind of mate - check out the aura YOU exude. What are you s"settling for"? Yeah, we have all kissed a frog or two before we make contact with that PRINCE - but don't marry the FROG thinking you can kiss him long enough and he will TURN into a PRINCE!!!
So.. you may ask - "Deborah, if this is true - why are YOU single"" I'd gladly tell you why. I am a "ONCE IN A LIFETIME KINDA WOMAN". I have lived long enough to understand that two hearts will polarize towards each other at the proper time. Have I made mistakes - well HECK YEAH. It is from these mistakes and "miss-steps" in life that I can write to you with authority. I am a firm believer that God is not only getting HIM ready - but God is getting ME ready. I have been through enough to KNOW what works for me - and to walk away from anything or anyone less than that. Am I better than anyone else - HECK NO.. I just know that I have done the work I needed on ME - so it will take someone pretty special to meet the level I worked to get on. I have matured to the point that I will not compromise my values. If his only calling card is his "21-positions" - I am not interested. If his former conquests are the ONLY topic of his conversation - I grow bored - quickly. If his material acquisitions are ALL he has to offer - the novelty of "shine and glitter" grows old - so he will be on a constant quest to "out do" the last "shine and glitter" item. Stuff is nice - but it gets "old and stale" when your soul is not fed. (... this is just my opinion only). EVERYONE has a characteristic database of what they are looking for - I have just decided to wait. After all, HE has got to find me - I am not the "HUNTER"!!
If you are content with being "ONE IN A MILLION" - that is fine - because you are NOT at the bottom of the food chain, either. Once you realize that there is a status for you to reach of being "ONCE IN A LIFETIME" kinda woman (or man) - the core circle of what "turns you on" changes.
What God has for me - is still for me. Question is - are we disciplined to wait for it? "Instant Gratification" offers you a season of happiness. Nothing worse than taking that taste of bile - called "REGRET".
Knowing YOURSELF is important. More important than you can imagine. Do the work - do the painful work - find out what makes you authentic. What makes you a Queen (or King). Find out what makes your "heart leap". Find out what your goals and dreams are - ask yourself - "will this person join the journey and we pursue together" or will lie fe a "tug-of-war" with them. Most relationships are "FUN" at the beginning - are you giving yourself the TIME to know who you will one day share space with. Check out their family tree, too. The "nuts don't fall far from the tree". Finally, do you want a wedding or a marriage?
I do not know all of the answers for everyone - this one thing I do know - it takes more time to HEAL from a broken relationship than it does to WAIT for God's very best. CHILL - take your hand off the wheel - enjoy life - Let go - and Let God.
Go ahead, be that "ONCE IN A LIFETIME KINDA WOMAN" - be that "CHANCE OF A LIFETIME"!!
Do not settle - because you are lonely.
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